Illustration by Lea Kron

The Man

Yaakov Langer
Age 29
1 child
Far Rockaway, NY
Marketer and podcaster

I’ve always been into doing out-of-the-box stuff. Comedy, improv, podcasts, creating content, and things with a creative touch. However, when it comes to food, well, let’s just say I use zero percent of my creative juices.

I once made eggs in the summer of 2008, so it’s not fair to say I have zero experience. It’s not that I’m lazy (which I am when it comes to food making), it’s just that my mother and my wife are incredible cooks. I should point out that my wife has an elaborate macaron business and is in grad school to become a food scientist. I’m not the foodie in the relationship.

We’ve just passed our six-year anniversary. It’s been my wife’s dream to one day eat a full dinner made by her husband. Listen, it’s a beautiful idea, but it’s just not me. Along comes the Man with a Pan column, asking us to do this. I know how much it means to Gitta. But I still say no.

Then I think of all of the care, love, and support she’s given me over these past few years. Supporting every project and podcast I’ve worked on. I still say no. Then I think about the fact that she gave birth to our precious little Alexander, so, so thankful, but I’m not doing this.

Then it hits me. What if I went out of my comfort zone just a little (very much a lot)? We all look for opportunities to improve. Maybe this is my chance. It’s the least (most) I could do for my wife. Okay, let’s do this.

Wait, it’s Thursday night. I should probably go shopping now.

Keep It Simple

I want this Shabbos to be the most relaxing Shabbos ever for Gitta. She’s cooked so many for me. I FaceTime my good buddy Abi Rosenberg. I could’ve called many others, but Abi knows that I’m barely capable of boiling a pot of water (I wish this last sentence was a joke) and will guide me towards dummy-proof recipes.

We go over the plan: Keep It Simple. We go through the list, and I have two more hours until Gourmet Glatt closes.

After I ask the staff for the first six items, I realize I need to figure out the next 32 on my own. Thank Hashem, Sara Yael Grossman, a family friend, sees me frantically asking Siri what parsley looks like (again, sadly this is true). She helps me cut my time in half, and I’m on my way home.