It is my hope that both hosts and guests learn something from the following stories,all of which are based on actual events

“I thought you were only bringing Berel for the seudah?” Rachel questioned her husband when the crowd poured in.

“So did I,” replied Dovid. “But what can I do? At Kiddush, Berel asked if he could bring a friend or two. I never expected him to bring seven other men!”

Oy, the joy, excitement, and surprises we all experience when we perform the mitzvah of hachnassas orchim.

Over the last three decades, my life in the rabbinate has taught me that while this mitzvah is indeed cherished and critically important, it can also have its challenges.

Some of our guests are challenging, others are combative, yet all are beloved.

It is my hope that both hosts and guests learn something from the following stories,all of which are based on actual events, many related to me by others, and some that I experienced myself.

Do You Have Any Apples? 

Chumie-Leah-Chaya Bleigstein was so excited to be invited to lunch in the succah with the Glaubermans.

She had just returned from California three weeks ago, and she was thrilled to be on the East Coast celebrating Succos at the home of a real-life rabbi.

Rabbi Glauberman was not a practicing rabbi, but as he was executive director of a local tzedakah organization, he was referred to by the title.

Yet all of this was irrelevant to Chumie-Leah-Chaya. All that mattered was that she was in a kosher succah and would be celebrating the Yom Tov with genuine FFBs.

Some of the divrei Torah given by the older sons went right over her head, but when the boys and their father harmonized as they sang “Vesamachta Bechagecha,” she felt like she was in seventh heaven.

In fact, the niggun was so inspiring that she silently pledged that she would no longer listen to non-Jewish music.

After a delicious meal, it was time for dessert.

When Chumie-Leah-Chaya noticed the elegant chocolate mousse that Mrs. Glauberman had taken the time and effort to prepare in honor of the Yom Tov, she froze.

Since her college days, she had ceased eating any products made with eggs, and her commitment to being egg-free was as strong as her loyalty to Yiddishkeit.

As the chocolate mousse was being served, Chumie recalled how, when she arrived at the Glaubermans, both husband and wife told her, “Please feel at home here. Treat our home as your home!”

Taking their words to heart and recognizing that she could act as she would at home, she declined the delectable mousse.

However, remembering that she should feel totally at home, she confidently asked, “Do you have any Honeycrisp apples?”

Before Mrs. Glauberman could reply, Chumie was on her feet saying, “Oh, don’t worry, I know where they are.”

Chumie quickly made her way into the kitchen, where she opened the fridge, removed an apple, retrieved a knife from the cutlery drawer, and sliced her apple into perfectly formed quarters.

Before returning to the succah, Chumie noticed a package of Pringles.

She helped herself to a handful of the potato snack and carefully arranged them in a circle around her sliced apple. On her reentry into the succah, all the other young female guests exclaimed, “That looks so good! I want an apple instead of the mousse!”

Our perturbed hostess was left holding her untouched mousse, which had taken hours to prepare and was now going to waste. In fact, even her own family was reluctant to indulge in the sumptuous dessert.

It was not a comparison of apples to oranges; it was mousse to apples, and the mousse was no match for the calorie-counting young women and the embarrassed family members

Lesson Learned: Eat What You’re Served

Politely decline if you are not interested in what is being served. Never put together your own dessert, or for that matter, any dish! Remember, you are the guest, not the host.