I

remember the first time I saw a patient who told me, “I’ve suddenly got ADHD.” He was a law student who wanted medication to help him focus and cram for his exams. I’d seen it a bunch of times, and it’s no secret that many people, especially students, “borrow” prescribed Ritalin, Adderal, Vyvanse, and similar medications to help them push through stressful periods and stretch their days into the middle of the night. But seeing the phenomenon among frum mothers was a bit of a surprise for me.

Rivki wasn’t the first, and I don’t think she’ll be the last. <em> Originally from a large family in Toronto, Rivki and her husband had stayed on in Israel after their shanah rishonah and had made a nice life for their growing family in one of the Anglo neighborhoods of Jerusalem. Her husband Dovid, a recognized talmid chacham, was a shoel u’meishiv in a yeshivah, and she worked as a graphic designer for a local publisher.

But now it was a few weeks after her mother had gone back to Canada following the birth of their fourth baby, and Rivki was getting ready to return to work on a part-time basis. She was overtired and overwhelmed and had found me for a consultation.

“So, Rebbetzin, what can I do to help you?” I asked.

Rivki was a bit frayed around the edges and jumped straight into it. “I think I have ADHD and need Ritalin or something like that. Maybe Concerta because I’ve heard it lasts longer?”

I had been expecting her to reveal a story pointing to postpartum depression or something similar. But as I went through her history and asked a number of screening questions, it was clear that Rivki wasn’t depressed or anxious or suffering from any particularly dangerous condition, including ADHD. What she did seem to be was overloaded with responsibility.

“So it’s pretty clear that over the last few months I’ve started having ADHD,” she kept repeating.

But that wasn’t how I saw it. “With all due respect,” I told her, “I know that it’s a challenge to balance all of your responsibilities with your children, your husband, and the baby—”

“And don’t forget work. I’m going back to work too,” said Rivki in an effort to validate her position.