Should children be allowed to fundraise?

Compiled by Rochel Samet

They come to the door. They call on the phone. They have booklets of flashy prizes, donation pages and links, and are consumed with meeting their goals…

But they’re not seasoned fundraisers employed for this role. They’re our kids.

THE QUESTION:

Should children be allowed to fundraise?

Kids collecting is…

…acclimating them to behavior that’s meant to induce bushah

I do not let my kids go collecting. Do they love me for it? No. It’s exciting, their friends do it, there are great prizes.

But collecting is meant to be something that is a little humiliating, something bushah’dig. Why are we acclimating our kids to that? Asking for money is not something I want to normalize for my kids.

Besides, they have absolutely no idea what causes they’re fundraising for. It’s just about getting the best prize, and the actual cause means absolutely nothing to them.

When you’re older and you’re fundraising for an organization or school or institution that you’re passionate about, great. But if you’re like me, when you make those calls to friends and family, you’re shuddering, it feels ugh. Because that’s what it’s meant to feel like. Fundraising is a naturally embarrassing, bushah-inducing act, and acclimating our kids to that behavior erodes their in-built sensitivity and bushah. No, thank you.

…okay — within limits.

I’m not super comfortable with my children going around fundraising, but I do allow it — with certain conditions.

Before bar mitzvah, I never let door-to-door collecting. If their cheder gives them some goal or has a Purim collection campaign, they can ask family members at the Purim seudah, or a neighbor or two when they deliver mishloach manos, but that’s it.

When they’re older, I’ll allow it, provided they’re in a supervised group. And I talk to my sons about safety, about not drinking in other people’s homes.

When you’ve talked it through and there’s trust and understanding in place, kids will turn to you if things get out of hand. One year, my son’s “supervised group” turned unsupervised when the chaperone had one drink too many. He called me and said he wanted to come home — which was the right and responsible thing to do.

And when the right supervision is in place, at the right age and stage, and with discussions beforehand? The boys can have a great experience, and make a difference to others, too.